Dance My Dunce

by F.Y.P.



released January 1, 2001

Originally released Nov. 1994
Recorded Oct 15th 1994 at Icebone/Torrance
Mixed Oct. 20th 1994 at Icebone
Engineered by Tony Furgeson
Produced by F.Y.P. and Chris Hannah
Todd: guitar/vocals/xylophone/drawings/layout
Jed: bass
Carlos: drums
All songs by Todd Congelliere/Chachi's Vouched for Music ASCAP
Except for "My Girlfriend's Dad's A Vicar" by Michael Algar/Volume Music



all rights reserved


Läjä Rex Vila Velha, Brazil

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Track Name: Dum Cos I Said So
shut your fucking mouth.
i don't wanna hear what you gotta say
you're dum cos i said you are
dum cos i said so
i don't need a reason, won't even try to explain
you're dum cos i said you are
dum cos i said so
Track Name: Vacation Bible School
pick your religion,
it's your decision
but please don't turn your kids into this bullshit
tell em it's real fun
do you think that they're dumb?
i loathe the future of us
cuz vacation's meant for television
and ding dong ditchin
vacation's meant for tellin people like you
to fuck off
with the sound of kids snoring,
face it, teach, you're boring
and all you little heathens will repent after class
fairy tales they teach us
punish us with jesus
psalms 16, blow it out your ass
it's time for the kids to stand up and say
"a boring life is yours to play,
cos vacation bible skool's not for me"
it's time for the kids to get off their knees
fuck their prayers and hear their pleas
cos vacation bible skool's not for me
yes jesus loves me, my bible tells me so.
Track Name: Inmatoor
you say i'm immature,
but i say yeah, sure
and then i hold my breath til i'm blue in the face
til i get my way
or until you'll see that i'm right, you're wrong
and you'll never be
i'm the poop of the party
i'll litter and waste
i'll puke on your master plans,
how does that taste?
cos i can't stand your idea of grown up
go pay your fucking mortgage
or your idea of punk,
you stupid fucking emo prick
not like you, you're not like,
i should be a gentleman, to leave it be
but no, cos i have to be the poop of the party etc.
i'm proud of it
and i don't give a shit
the word "mature" is a synonym for chickenshit
Track Name: Thinking Cap
who needs a thinking cap
when i got my blood sugar on the tap?
and who ever made you think
you'll amount to anything?
who needs a thinking cap
when i've already figured out you're full of crap
and you actually believe you're bright
cos you've been told you don't apply your brain
you got your religion and you got television
so why can't i wast my brain too
i wasn't put on this earth to describe a new logic
or solve your problems for you
so when you're done hemming your cape
get outta my face, cos heroes are sooo boring
and when you get time off
from saving this world,
take two sucks on this can and call me in the morining
i got a right not to think.
it's my mind, cheers my friend,
i'll inhale to that.
Track Name: Boo Hoo
first you reject me and now you wanna dissect me
i live for revenge so you know you burned that bridge
people are impossible, boo hoo
so what's new?
i'll just throw a penny in the well
and wish i wasn't one too
i think you're ugly cos i was born looking unlike you
i think your team sucks cos they didn't pick me
i must be crazy, cos what i wanna do
i'll do it for me
your idea of success is boring and sick
a million buffoons just trying to turn a trick
and it's pin the tail on whoever's jackass enough
to let you ride on theirs
if this is what they call success
then i don't wanna succeed
flat broke is better than rim jobs for crap you don't need
so beware of the guy who won't get you nowhere
step on the guy who won't get you anywhere near the top
Track Name: Big Fish In A Polluted Gutter (Going For A Very Short Ride)
i'm surrounded by
boring morons in real life,
so why is it that every time i turn on
my tv, these ninnys try to explain to me
they're boring chord progression of their melodies
and/or their boring lyrics about some boring girl
when she messed up your head she was on a bore pill
you're not intricate and you're not abstract
so get outta my tv,
you're ugly face i'll subtract
why did the world turn out this way?
i can say what i wanna say
remember this is a free country
but that doesn't mean there's anyone listening to me
is it that i'm just a jealous prick
just waiting for the day that i can jump in your shoes
or is it that i'm right, that you're just a useless bore.
i think it's the latter.
from a clammy hand shake you take it literally
here, fishy, jump on my leaf
let's take a ride where the water is green
your destination is a sewer
and your arrival time is a lot sooner than you think
so just wave goodbye to everything
but lies now there's nothing you can't buy with your advance
just remember this that a kiss is a butt kiss
and that's all it takes to make it in this business.
Track Name: I Don't Wanna Sit Next To You
teacher tell him to move, cos i don't wanna sit next to you
and take your crummy ass and phoney attitude with you
neighbor why don't you move
cos i don't wanna live next to you
and take your whining kids and plastic pool with you
Track Name: 2000 A.D.
i've got circles covering all your ugly faces
in my university book
so don't act innocent
you'll try to beg and plead but i remember it like it was yesterday
i can't wait until the day in 2000 ad
i can't wait until the day when my alma matter will bleed
you're gonna wish you never fucked with me
you'll cry in 2000 ad
you're gonna be so sorry
i call this school spirit
Track Name: Knock On Wood
you tell me to laugh and what my wooden lips should say
you got the spotlight all the time when you take me out to play
some might say i got no backbone, that might be fucking true
but let's watch your fucking vertabrae
when i stick my fucking arm up you
o.k. now mr. spokesman, tell me how the fuck to feel
the whites in your eyes scream it all
when you find out i'm for real
i obey oh yes master i'd kill you if i could
you better watch out
i know what you're thinking about
you better knock on wood
Track Name: Fuck You & A Half
just because my dad is fucking head coach
doesn't mean i hafta participate
i don't wanna play this sport
if you do, go ahead
but where does it end when you follow in their footsteps?
shut your ass, i don't hear what you say
fucking leave me alone, i don't wanna fuckin play
fuck you and a half, til i get my way
fuck you and a half, i don't wanna fuckin' play
break your neck, you spineless fuckin' idiot
fuck yourself, you steroid pumping piece of shit
my dad accepted the fact that i don't wanna be like you
so go sell tupperware cuz yer mom sells it too
Track Name: Smarter Than The Average Bear
of the nine months you've been working for the idiot
you dedicate your whole life cleaning up his shit
just hate it
i'd be glad if you'd admit it
that the custodial arts aren't exactly what they claim to be
summer, can't you wait for me
i bow to you before i bow to the suits
cos you're spinless, yet you got guts at the same time
you might not be macking the loot
but i'm so happy, yet so pissed
that you're content with this
i don't wanna build no rocket and
i don't wanna go to space
i just wanna disinfect this toilet
my only goal is to clean this place
go down cos you're the class clown
you hear what they're saying behind your own walls
what if your dinner guests ask you what you do?
you'll never know how much i admire you.
Track Name: It's Not My Fault You Like Air Supply / My Girlfriend's Dad's A Vicar
It's Not My Fault You Like Air Supply

rayanne, can't u understand
i don't know how to take it as a compliment or a criticism
you say that i made you happy enough
that you didn't have to be a junkie
so when i axed you (nicely) to leave
i felt kinda guilty that drugs said "hi" again
your amphetamines were replaced with my bad attitude
your speed got replaced with my mood swings
your heroin got subbed with how much i hate your dad
i'm surprised you didn't need your fix around me
tell me now, if i see you all strung out
will you scream and pout
will you say that it's my fault
it's kinda fishy that i suppressed your urge to get high
and your logic i can't buy
that your crystal meth was less fun than me


My Girlfriend's Dad's A Vicar

(by the Toy Dolls ok??)
Track Name: Ian Stuart As A Crash Dummy
jump em cos of their skin
like a cancer from the outside
greet me with open arms
and i'll tear em off limb by limb
your so fucking tough
so fucking cool
so fucking chickenshit
i ain't scared of you,
but if you ever read this i was just kidding
if i was a jackass i'd probably like you
if i was a nitwit i'd probably respect you
and if i was a schmuckfaced, two headed
buffoonedly minded dipshit,
i'd probably be your mother or mating partner
(same difference)
ian stuart as a crash dummy didn't end racism
ian stuart as a crash dummy won't combat fascism
ian stuart as a crash dummy just makes me giggle.
Track Name: Kids That Play Dead
where's your mommy when you need her?
come out it's not the time to pout
he swore he never beat her but it's not the bruises
that made her get out
you sit there and take his shit cos
he says it's your fault
she left and you believe it and
that your just a mistake
and not a human being that he helped make
kids that play dead stay dead
this is gonna hurt you more than me
any idiot can concieve
but can that idiot learn before breeding
that a kid is more than a goldfish you forget to feed
you pissed in the wrong place
he keeps a permanent rugburn on your face
show the carpet in your teeth
from the nervous smile he forces you to keep
and i would run away
but that's easy for me to say
just run away, i really wanna know what makes you stay.
Track Name: Jerk Off
Jerkoff aahhhh!!!!
The hair on my palms explains it all.
Can't you see that I'm going blind??
Track Name: Toss My Cookies
Today at lunch I'll buy you an ice cream sandwich
with my allowance, make your face out of tater tots.
Cos I really like you lots.
I got my little schoolbox full of nothing, but I want
something. And I keep eating these heart-shaped candies
that I'm too bawk bawk to give to you.
I wanna pass notes with you
and see the things on my shoe.
Trade lunches at noon,
I wanna pass notes with you.
Toss my cookies in the boy's room.
Why don't you tie your shoes?
Track Name: Are You An Idiot Or Just A Nitwit
1.)Preaching to the converted
A.)Spare your bad breath?
NO___ YES___
2.)Cry and complain about what they say about how you
dress and act that way.
A.)What's the point if all your acts won't depress
them, or make them laugh?
3.)Buy to their ads. Dance to their fads!
A.)they keep you in their cage with them
B.)If I had the key I'd swallow it cos it makes me
happy to know I'm not as dum as you.
C.)Everything about you is unlike no one else.
D.)You're a yellow-bellied pink elephant even though
before your were either nitwit___ or idiot___.