by Love Songs



released August 1, 2006

Bradley - Sharp Dresser
Seth Strong - Bass Player (Read: Butt of Jokes)
Jackson - Rebel Image
Craigums - Cookie Consumption

Alberto Plebe is as sexy as he is helpful and supportive. He also played trompeta on "Hot List". Carolyn van Lydegraf played the piano on "Backstory" and she appears courtesy of Raj who drove her down from Reno. Jason Newstead does not play bass on tracks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, or the entire "...And Justice For All" album but his phone number did provide the busy signal at the end of track 8. Jethro Wall drew all the comics because he has a soft spot for sissies like us. Jackson drew the front cover and Bradley laid it all out while Seth fixed the van and Graigmus mixed. Recorded by us in the Dutch Oven throughout 2005. Mastered at Mr. Toad's. Seth Photo by Ernst.
© Love Songs 2006, Music of MANVILLE/ASSCRAP.



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Läjä Rex Vila Velha, Brazil

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Track Name: Hot List
Online and intrigued, sounds interesting. What kind of gal might I find in here? (Not really looking, but not NOT, know what I mean?) I needed only count to 10 before I'd fully understand that even vegetarian men can be as gross and creepy as the rest, all middle-aged, pony tails and goatees, think Tim Robbins in High Fidelity.

It was good for a laugh, I hope I don't turn out like that, I logged off and let a couple days pass...

Then I get some messages
I've been added to
Some hotlists,
I can only assume
I was one of a few
Non-granola weirdos
In the online profile queue....

Never a seeker
Never been sought
Truth be told
All the attention
Was turning me of....

But there she was....

A cynic, a dove
With purr and
With bite
She could
Only rise
Track Name: Doodie Movies and Mick Mucus
Notes were passed to and fro
Wits were cocked and flirts were thrown

Within a week I was disarmed
But within two I was alarmed
To find a file sent to me
A tasteless lump of depravity
A good sign of things to be
A video of poo and a video of pee


She made a movie
About dooie, about poopie

And yeah... I liked it

That was it, I was sold
We had to meet, I had to know, was she real or was she not? For our first tryst, I knew the spot, it was a halfway point between her & me, a filthy house of depravity, if she could last, I'd give in, she was better than my expectations...

She survived a party at Mick's where big things catch fire
And the kegs they flow with PBR

She survived a party at Mick's
Where on the ceilings you'll find muddy footprints
Track Name: Sweet-Talked
I got a slip in my mail this afternoon. It was yellow and before I knew I ripped it open and before me lie a letter scribed in candy. A woman after my own heart, adhering 30 different sweets to a card... Payday, snickers, 100 grand, lifesavers, and sweet tarts. Poo videos and chocolate, what a way to start! I was sweet talked, I was red hot. I want to score some hugs and kisses. It don't take much thought or a sugar shot to want to share some pixy stix ("Pixies' Tix", get it?) with a nerd....
Track Name: You Have No Idea
So you think I liked her letter? Ah man, it just gets better... She's the kind of girl who calls the radio and she's the one they call a winner.

I ask "What'd you win today?"

She says she'd rather not say
She says it's kind of embarrassing

Ah, c'mon
Spill it

I say.
She says


She interjects some hems and haws, and then leaves an awkward pause. Then she asks rather sheepishly,

Do you know who Weird Al is?

What are you kidding me?

C'mon give a break!

She says.
I say,

So you have no idea?

No, you have no idea....
What do you think happened after that?
You bet your bippy we went out just as much as we stayed in (and out and in and out.)
I could not invent this girl!
Track Name: Backstory
Born and raised in UTAH
Where Joe Smith is praised despite racist claims. She was so young when she had her son
Pushed into marriage by the church and her mom

Yet she kept trudging through
Because it was all that she knew
Unhappy, unfulfilled
A mormon girl's rue
But it can't last too long
When things are so wrong

She moved to California
And there found freedom

No way

Oh I say
It works both ways
Parents reject
Daughter shows no respect, oh
I say, your church has curious ways

It's so easy to dump on their precious faith, but then turns out some of my friends are latter day saints.
Which learns me something new, heck, maybe even two! I love all my friends, just not all they do. So I'll work on my tolerance, work on my acceptance, I'll do as they preach and just not as they practice
Track Name: That's Why They Change The Locks When You're Fired
Single mom pulling double weight
Parental nights, engineering days
Honed and ingenious streak big-rig-turn wide
Keeps her boy entertained
Keeps herself fixed with a smile

She's learned a lesson,
She's turned a screw
Cuz she knows that's what you gotta do

When you're not living for one but you're living for two
Damned if I know
All a single mom's gotta do!

There's a downside of being creative
There's a downside of being right
There's a downside of being you
Instead of promotions you get fired

Needless to say she's smart,
A true life academic
She's put me in my place more times than i care to admit
She has fake boobs
Which aren't my thing
But I'll let that slip cuz after all....
They're boobs

There's a downside of being smart
There's a downside of being right
There's a downside of being you

And that's why
They change the locks
When you're fired
Track Name: Unsent Letters
Say what you mean
Write down everything
And then show it to no one
Undelivered letters
Are so much better
Because you're your own audience...
Track Name: Behind Enemy Lines
It was well past midnight, kinda late for a two hour drive
But i'd do it anyway because this saturday you're moving far away
To a most unholy place....

Banana quik and trampolines
Even the streetgangs are sxe clean

I know there's a place
For you somewhere that you belong
But I'm afraid that place is all wrong.

For a last night I know
I turned in a performance
That was less than spectacular,
But I swear my heart was there
I've said goodbye so many times towards the people I care, but I've said hello again almost as often, that's why she didn't see me crying when I drove off, but she wept lightly right there on the spot - I'd cry too if I knew Utah was my next stop.
She's moving to Utah.
She's moving behind enemy lines.